Parenthood Surrenders
Posted on March 31, 2009 by Brian
Typical liberal, feel-good gobbledygook:
One morning last September, Melanie Leavey’s six-year-old daughter, Savannah, insisted on wearing a Halloween cat costume instead of normal clothes. She wore it all day long, and the next too. Eventually, she agreed to take off the costume so it could be washed, but the minute it was laundered, she pulled it on again. Weeks passed, then months. It wasn’t until February, almost six months later, that Savannah finally decided to put the cat costume to rest.
But at no point did her mother try to make Savannah stop wearing it, says Ms. Leavey, who lives in Burlington, Ont., with her husband Brandt, Savannah and Sebastian, age 4.
Getting Savannah dressed in the morning had long been a battle. “I tried all the mainstream parenting guru advice, but nothing worked,” she says.
So, Ms. Leavey began to practise consensual living, a set of principles designed to help family members understand each other’s feelings and meet one another’s needs.
Ever since her daughter got the chance to assert her autonomy in her clothing choices, Ms. Leavey says, helping her get dressed in the morning has been “a piece of cake.”In the consensual living model, father doesn’t know best. Neither does mom. Instead, parents and children are equal partners in family life, according to the principles laid out at consensual-living.com.
Parents and children are equal partners in family life? Uhm, yeah.
But wait, it gets better:
If she had a doctor’s appointment but her daughter was feeling grumpy, for example, Ms. Hollett would not force Kahlan to wait with her to see the doctor. Instead, Ms. Hollett might cancel the appointment or arrange alternative child care, she says.
Listening to her child’s feelings doesn’t mean that every last thing is negotiable, such as being strapped in a car seat, she says. But if they have to go somewhere, she adds, “I’ll do everything I can to make the car-seat ride more comfortable.”
(snip)
Echota Keller, a mother in Langley, B.C., says that she creates boundaries with her three-year-old son, Kiernen, while “giving him the space to be his own person.”
In daily life, she makes a practice of letting him know what her intentions are, she says, “and asking him if that’s going to work for him.”
Recently, the principles of consensual living have helped her cope with her son’s hitting stage, she says.
When Kiernen strikes another child, Ms. Keller asks him what he’s feeling and whether he’d like to express his anger or frustration in another way, such as using words or hitting a pillow.
She tells him it’s not okay to hit others, but she and her husband, Josh, do not force Kiernen to say he’s sorry. “If he’s going to apologize, we want it to be authentic,” Ms. Keller says.
Oh, heaven forbid he not tell the other child he’s sorry if he doesn’t mean it! When I was a kid, part of your punishment for doing something like that was the humiliation of having to apologize for doing it. No, you weren’t being sincere, but you were embarrassed as hell to have to say “I’m sorry” to the kid you just punched, especially if your mom was the one standing there making you apologize.
What a bunch of horse-hooey. You have an appointment and you ASK your kid if it’s ok for you to go to it?!? Talk about role-reversal, asking for your child’s permission to go somewhere. What parent in their right minds bow to the demands of their children like that? It’s not healthy for the parent, it’s not healthy for the child, and it sure as hell isn’t healthy for the overall family.
I’ve seen families that operate like this (hell, who HASN’T seen a family like this?), and it’s a wonder the parents haven’t stuck a gun in their mouth and pulled the trigger. These people are frazzled, you can see it plain as day. The kid says “jump!” (not literally) and the parents say “how high?” And then they wonder why they can’t get their kids in the car when it’s time to leave. Idiots.
Filed Under Children, Idiots and Morons, Liberalism, Whackos and Nutjobs